“…we have succeeded in wooing many through our front doors with relevant teaching; powerful, concert-like worship; and a myriad of family-friendly programs-with charismatic, celebrity pastors at the helm. Yet our painful, untold story is about the crowd of broken people flooding through our back doors, many of them women who have been victimized.”

-Mary DeMuth

For a few good years after knowing Christ, words were worthwhile. Sharing my thoughts, questions, or at times concerns yielded meaningful conversations and oftentimes change. Words invited introspective reflection and benefited the relationships around me.

But then things changed, because evil is both brilliant and beautiful.

Powerful people around me inflicted pain, and I had something to say about it. I spoke to the suffering; I asked it to stop.

The result? I was reprimanded.

Don’t you look here. This doesn’t involve you. Be quiet.

Words aren’t welcome when the truth threatens a picture people want to present. So we question if we should say anything at all.

The moment the enemy enters is when he gets us to question whether our words are worth it.

Most of what we’re taught as Christian women involves a focus on speaking words that are only ever encouraging and life-giving. Respect, we’re told, doesn’t point out wrongs. It covers them. The direction we’re given for sinful behaviors? Pray, don’t say.

Rarely if ever are we taught the difference between speaking words that tear another down, and speaking life-giving truth to one’s hurtful actions.

Couple this with the very real repercussions and public scrutiny for being honest (even with solutions), and soon we’re seduced by silence.

Satan distracts us from seeing the sin in front of us as he taunts us with the promise of comfort, power, or prestige. He presents a perverted picture telling us that silence to sin will somehow benefit us. We won’t have to bear the consequences. We’ll avoid any rift in the relationship. No one would call us rebellious, a gossip, or divisive. They’ll still like us.

As women, silence often feels safer than saying something.

From the very beginning, Evil’s main purpose is to keep darkness hidden, because darkness thrives in secrets and silence.

But God has always wanted darkness to be separate from light:

• In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day. Genesis 1:1-5

Light and darkness were made different. Similar is the stark contrast of good and evil:

• Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. The Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground—trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Genesis 2:8-9
• The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.” Genesis 2:15-17 (emphasis added)

Continuing in chapter three verse one, Evil makes an appearance unveiling his purpose:

• Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’” “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. (Genesis 3:1-6)

The Serpent knew that if he could get Eve to doubt the real cost of evil, she’d be quiet. Don’t push back too hard. There’s something to gain if you stop asking questions. It’s not a big deal; don’t cause a scene.

From the beginning of time, Evil has promised us something in exchange for our voice.

He’s distracted us from seeing the sin in front of us as he taunts us with the promise of power, prestige, and protection. We want comfort, we want beauty, and we want peace, even if it’s false.

So let’s keep quiet.

But we can be both honest and peaceful at the same time. In fact, we can’t experience peace-making without honesty. James 3:17 says, “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure (honest); then peace-loving.”

Christians have forgotten that unity and reconciliation require truth-telling. We’ve instead settled for a false peace within our homes, congregations and communities that but lack honesty or real accountability. We sing praises and greet our neighbors but won’t look long or deep enough to disrupt the comfort our foolishness feeds. 

The places proclaiming the name of Christ too often silence those who need most to be heard. For far too long the church has emphasized silence more than truth-telling. It’s shamed advocates and survivors as being ‘too honest’; for not bandaging their own bleeding, and for confronting the their communities.

So shaming the courageous ones pleading for change becomes a better option. Our pastors, leaders, writers – criticize the voices calling for change claiming their pain leads people away from the ‘church’.

But what if the stories of the wounded help the ‘church’? Or what if the truth about harm does in fact cause the sheep to leave the systems causing pain and instead find the Church as God intended it to be, the body of believers who fear God and walk only in His ways?

In no other place should we see advocates, allies, and safe havens more than in the church. The voices of the broken ought to be the first in line; given space to share, be heard, and protected.

While ‘Christian’ critics point their fingers at the ones hurting, Jesus calls us toward them.

He doesn’t tell the wounded to keep quiet, to contain what’s crippled them, or create a story digestible enough before delivery. Without us expecting it, our Healer gives the mic to the wounded. 

Not to destroy, but to deliver. 

He leans in wanting to bear witness to what needs resurrecting. He wants a holy Church within and amongst us all; and disclosed pain not only provides safety for others wounded, it is often the very path toward personal and communal penitence.

Silencing truth-tellers until their stories only scream solutions disregards the commands in Scripture.

• Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)
• He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. (Luke 10:34)
• Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow. (Isaiah 1:17)
• If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? (James 2:15-16)

This is not a time to shame those needing rescue who’s stories don’t yet fit into a Sunday sermon. We must together, march forward in honest unity toward Christ. It is time to link arms, gather supplies, and move toward the wounded. Let’s plead for our leaders to listen and contend for the ones in charge to change. When the shepherds shame, the Holy Spirit in us will be the safety so many need.

For every one who has a story – you can take the mic, as your speech is sacred. Your story offers insight into how we must grow. 

Your words (not your silence), will build, (not destroy), His Church.

“…we are experiencing a shameful exodus of the very people who could offer the world the kind of authentic, raw hope the next generation craves and needs. We are losing our clarion voice because of our nearsighted fear of how messy caring for them can be. And yet, they are the ones Jesus pursued when he walked this earth. And, I would argue, they are the very people who can teach us to love the world for which Jesus died. The abused are our tutors, but we’ve expelled them.”

-Mary DeMuth

May we learn from what we see happening across our country. May we never partner with evil in our homes, marriages, relationships, communities, and churches. May we call for transparency so that the little ones see what it’s like to walk in the Light and want it for themselves. May we never demonize those fighting for help, and may we work together to ensure aid is given to any who need.